Overcoming Fear With Faith

Whenever fear, self-doubt, overthinking what people may think or believe about me, or overly worrying about our future—or the kids’ future—overwhelms me, I stop. I gather myself and force my mind to dig back into the archives of memories from the year my life changed forever.

The Darkest Moments

So far, what I faced then remains some of my darkest life moments: our home ruined, our son diagnosed with an incurable illness, the unwarranted eight-week-long CPS investigation with threats of losing all seven of our children, the loss of our finances, my job, reputation, church home, sanity, close family relationships, personal health, and friends. These are stories I wouldn’t wish on even my enemy.

The Weight of Sorrow

I can still recall the sorrow of my kids—their endless gut-level cries in the middle of the night, the conversations on repeat in our minds that we know will never come to pass in real life. Add to this the nearly crushing moments that turned into months afterward.

Surviving the Storm

When I remember those days, the trauma events billowing like waves in the ocean, I remind myself: I’m still alive. Still held together. Still strong in the Lord. And I say to myself, “Well, self, whatever I could fret about now is not as terrible, hard, or scary as those moments. And you made it.”

Choosing Bravery

I know I can, and I must, be brave. It works for me, and my prayer is that it would work for you too. Preaching truth to our hearts—especially when we don’t feel it—can sometimes be the only way to endure.

God’s Promise in the Fire

As it says in Isaiah 43:2, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

Those moments didn’t drown me, and the fire didn’t consume me. I survived because God was with me in the storm and present in the fire.

Glory Beyond Suffering

Romans 8:18 reminds me, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” The pain and trials I’ve faced—and will continue to face—are part of the journey. But I trust that something greater is being worked within me through each new season.

A Work in Progress

As it says in Philippians 1:6, “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” It’s still possible to create a beautiful life, even if you’ve lost years to trauma, hardship, or suffering.

Strength from Hardship

During that time, you’ve quietly built strength, gained wisdom, grown in compassion, and done the hard work of healing. Your story may never be fully understood by those who haven’t walked in your shoes, but hold fast. Do not lose focus.

Your Healing Is Unfolding

Your story and your healing are unfolding in real time, blossoming into a unique beauty exactly as they need to.

Continual Transformation

We will continue to be transformed and changed. I doubt that will ever stop.

For that, I am forever grateful.